Are we the cause of our own suffering?

There are many things that cause us upset, anger, disappointment and other negative unpleasant emotions. I’m sure we could very easily have a very full and humorous conversation about all the things that grind our gears!

It seems inevitable, to suffer, to have negative reactions and emotions - an unarguable fact of life some may say? - But what if we explore where this suffering comes from, with a new perception and understanding…

Two people are discussing the weather, one is complaining about the rain, “its cold, it ruins my hair, it’s miserable!” the other comments “I Love the rain! it is so refreshing, so nourishing and life giving, my garden appreciates it as much as me!”

The first person suffers when it rains, the second does not. What is it about the rain that is so bad? - This is where the human with an ego creates judgements and opinions. Rain is neutral. It is neither good nor bad, our reaction to it will name it and experience it as such. Expectation, preference, individual plans and wants all set us up for misery!

Another great example is traffic jams - a familiar frustration! So there you are, not moving. 4 hills of cars ahead of you, and no one is going anywhere. Curses and gritted teeth - it feels unfair, it’s not our fault, and it’s downright inconvenient! (More so a button pusher when we on the way to something, like a massage appointment!) However, the traffic jam is neither good nor bad. To one is it bad, he has been away from home and missed his family, this is cutting into his weekend with them. To another however, a blessing. She is buying more time and has a great excuse for not attending a night out she really doesn’t have the energy for! Neither can change the situation. Look into another persons car and you will see the same anger and impatience & reactions. This situation goes against our personal wants, and it makes us so mad!

This is essentially what the majority of suffering is - a situation or event or comment that disagrees with our individual beliefs, wants, preferences. The ego loves comfort, convenience, everything going its way - but as we all know life is rarely going to satisfy those desires all the time! If we get caught it the rain, we get angry because our clothes will get wet, we will feel cold! These are neutral events laced with emotion and reaction manifesting as suffering! We will dry off, we can do our hair again, we will warm up. A great practice when life throws us challenging situations, is to remember “this is neither good or bad, it just is” and watch your ego kick up a fuss, like a small child almost! Then let the ego’s preference go, and feel yourself calm down.  It is a much more peaceful way to live.

This isn’t super easy, and requires practice, patience and compassion for yourself. Use life’s small challenges, mosquito bites, missed buses, last biscuit gone, bad traffic, to exercise your ability to see these things as neutral, temporary events that pass like the clouds, where you can get mad or save your energy. Dropping our need to have our egos needs met is very liberating, and it builds a resilience to see us through the bigger challenges in life too.  

“You are the sky. Everything else – it’s just the weather.”  

― Pema Chödrön 

Click here for more from Pema Chodron

Also known as Jiwah Prakshalan in Ayurveda, this is the practice of gently grazing the tongue with the help of a u-shaped tool or a scraper to remove the debris and bad bacteria, and clear out the surface of the tongue. This is a complementary practice to brushing, flossing, and mouthwash. Toxins that accumulate due to weak metabolism or digestive Agni also show up on the surface of the tongue. If not cleared out, they are absorbed back in the system and can lead to diseases and weak immunity.

Benefits

Better sense of taste. Scraping removes dead cells and other unwanted substances and creates space for taste buds to function naturally. One can experience different tastes better and in a more distinguishable way.

• Natural color of the tongue. It helps the natural color of the tongue to emerge by removing the discoloration and debris, returning the tongue to its soft pink and clean state.

• Removes bad breath. At night while we sleep, bacteria gather in the mouth because the production of saliva is reduced. Tongue scraping removes these bacteria, which are responsible for creating bad breath and tooth decay.

• Immunity Booster. Gradual and consistent building up of toxins, or ama, weakens the immune system by putting it to work continuously against foreign bodies or bad bacteria. The tongue is the first line of defense in the body. Scraping aides the healthy functioning of this immune system.

• Better digestion. Digestion of food starts in the mouth. Enzymes present in the saliva break food down for easier digestion by the gut. When the taste buds are blocked due to the accumulated mucus on the tongue, the messaging function of their receptors conveying to the brain to activate relevant enzymes required for digestion of the food is impaired.

• Taste bud activation. Active taste buds are also important for healthy digestion because they prevent a host of ailments that contribute to poor digestion and ama formation, and lead to gut related illnesses including constipation. Tongue scraping ensures that the surface of the tongue is clean for taste buds to function better.

• Activates organs. Since the tongue is connected to various organs of the body, scraping it gently activates related organs too.

Deep breathing while you do this helps the gag reflex, be gentle and carry out 10 scrapes, then rinse the scraper with hot water, dry and store. Rinse your mouth with water, then brush teeth as normal! You can find these online at many different websites, copper scrapers are the most popular.

Click here to explore some options

Massage & the emotions

Emotions are felt in the body, and meant to be processed by the mind and released. Today’s modern world has more pressures than ever, and the space and time to process emotions is less and less. This leads to them being stored in the body, manifesting as pains, stiffness, tensions.

Many cultures have recognized this a long time ago, and happily the West is taking notice now too.

Often after a massage, pain, stiffness and high emotions are relieved. By manipulating the tissues we encourage a processing and cleansing of the residual emotions, allowing space, softness and well-being to take their place.

Taking time for yourself, and for healing contact like massage, has never been more important.

Click here for a short article which discusses this further

Click here to book your massage online (message me if you are struggling to get a space!) It has been incredibly busy the first 2 months, but a more normal pace will no doubt be resumed after the first post lockyd rush has calmed x

Pain in life is inevitable but suffering is not. Pain is what the world does to you, suffering is what you do to yourself [by the way you think about the 'pain' you receive]. Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional. [You can always be grateful that the pain is not worse in quality, quantity, frequency, duration, etc]

Gautama Buddha